I realized I felt like shit when I was taking my daily maintenance chemo but I didn’t realize HOW shitty I felt until my doc let me discontinue.
Do I still have cancer? Yes, it will never be cured, but it’s under control enough that he has reluctantly agreed to let me stop taking chemo. I have to have my labs checked every three months and he says not-if-but-when my chemo markers start to go back up then he wants me to to back on it but he’s willing to work with me on lower doses, different schedules, etc. It’s kind of a pain in the ass getting my reminder to come in for a recheck when I’ve been fa-la-la-ing along without a care in the world. My last visit (first recheck) came back ok. I’m living my life in three month increments and as long as I don’t feel like I have the fucking flu every single day or cry swallow a pill or sleep 18 hours a day then I’m totally ok with that.
So, I’ve been able to be more active and do shit around the house, sew, clean, fix, wipe poopy fuzz butts and a bunch of other things. I hate summer and can’t wait for fall and so I’m a bit more happy every day.
One terribly strange thing that has been happening is that I’ve been having phantom PMS which include rage, crying jags, sore breasts, god-damned zits all over my face and nightmares that are so, so disturbing. No blood or any other indication that I am growing back some ovaries. Apparently people over 40 who go through high dose chemo don’t get their periods back but people below 40 do. I was 39 so I guess ask me when I’m 70 and I’ll let you know what happened with my period.
Still fostering kitties. After this batch I’m going to take a break. No really, I mean it!
I still see Basil (the squirrel) almost every day and Frances is just gone. I also see one of the two buns I released a couple of times a week.